Trauma, Mental Health and Your Child: What Parents & Carers Need to Know
Trauma is often associated with a single, significant event. For many autistic young people, however, trauma can build quietly over time through everyday experiences that repeatedly overwhelm their nervous system. Rather than one obvious incident, it can be subtle and cumulative experiences that can have a lasting impact on mental health, emotional wellbeing, and a child’s sense of self. These experiences can leave a young person feeling out of control, frightened, misunderstood, and powerless.
We all respond to trauma differently. What one child finds traumatic may not be the same for another. For autistic children, everyday experiences can become sources of ongoing stress – sensory overload and a subsequent meltdown in a busy classroom, being misunderstood by adults or peers, pressure to behave in ‘acceptable’ ways, or repeated messages that their natural way of being is wrong or to be fixed. Masking autistic traits to fit in, coping with unpredictable routines, or navigating social environments without the right support can gradually erode confidence and emotional safety.
The role schools play
Schools have a powerful role in either reducing or increasing and therefore reinforcing autistic trauma. At Options Autism, we recognise the impact that trauma can have on a child’s learning, behaviour and emotional wellbeing. That is why we embed Trauma Informed Practice (TIP) across our schools.
TIP supports our teams to understand how trauma shapes a child’s experiences and responses. This understanding feeds directly into how we work with children and the policies and approaches we adopt to support them. Our practice is grounded in three key principles – the three Cs: connection, co-regulation and co-reflection. This means building trusting relationships, supporting children to regulate their emotions and behaviour, and thinking alongside them about what they find difficult and what helps them feel safe and understood – as well as finding and celebrating strengths to build upon.
Recognising the signs
Strong, collaborative relationships between parents, carers and schools – where concerns are genuinely heard and support is reviewed regularly – can make a meaningful difference. Parents are often the first to sense when something is not quite right for their child. However, supporting a child with their mental health can be incredibly stressful and isolating. Parents/carers are experts in knowing their child best and we need to support them to advocate for their child together with us to support in the best way.
Signs of autistic trauma are highly individual and not always obvious. Some children may experience increased anxiety, difficulties with interaction, heightened sensory sensitivities, emotional outbursts or frequent meltdowns. Others may become withdrawn, quieter than usual, emotionally shut down or experience burnout.
Supporting your child – and yourself
Trusting your parental instinct is important, and support is available. Your child’s school can often be a helpful first point of contact, and connecting with other parents who share similar experiences can also be reassuring.
How parents can practically support their child’s mental health is explored in a dedicated episode of our Autism Unpacked podcast. In this episode, we speak with a clinical psychologist about ways to reduce pressure on autistic children and support their emotional wellbeing. Supporting an autistic child can bring up complex emotions for parents, including guilt, frustration and a heightened sense of responsibility. Learning to recognise and manage your own feelings, and to regulate your own responses, can help ease difficult situations and reduce stress for the whole family.
Finding the right support can be transformative. With understanding, advocacy and the right adjustments in place, autistic children can begin to regain a sense of safety, while parents and carers can feel more hopeful and supported.
Listen to this episode of Autism Unpacked, and explore our full podcast series, here: www.optionsautism.co.uk/autism-unpacked-podcast/