Understanding Masking: The Hidden Struggle for Neurodivergent Children

For many neurodivergent children, the school environment is a place where they feel compelled to “mask” their true selves to fit in. Masking can involve suppressing behaviour, emotions, sensory responses and passion-focused interests that might set us apart. This isn’t merely a small effort to blend in—it’s often an exhausting, all-consuming task that can leave children utterly depleted by the end of the school day. 

Families see the reality of this strain daily; they witness how their child may appear calm and compliant at school, only to collapse in distress or exhaustion once they’re safely home. Yet, despite these visible effects, many families feel their concerns are dismissed or trivialised, as though this behaviour is exaggerated or even imagined.

This lack of understanding places families in a difficult and often isolating position. Many feel pressured by school policies to push their child to attend, fearing penalties or repercussions if they don’t comply. But masking takes a serious toll on children’s mental health. Forcing them to hide their authentic selves leads to extreme burnout, causing the school to feel like an overwhelming, even threatening, environment rather than a supportive one.

Instead of urging children to “just get through” each day, our educational systems need approaches that prioritise genuine well-being. Trauma-informed and neurodiversity-affirming practices provide a pathway forward. By creating environments where children feel truly safe to be themselves—free from the pressure to mask—we can support their emotional and mental health in lasting ways.

Above all, families need to feel believed and supported, not blamed or dismissed for recognising their child’s unique needs. We need to trust the voices of those who know these children best, advocating for environments that celebrate each child’s individuality and promote true belonging.